I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
being pregnant is like rehab
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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