dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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