if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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