Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
