at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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