I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
