got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
