3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I want to stick my p in your. b.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
