A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
