Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
