would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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