She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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