I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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