I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
