You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
