So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
