My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
All I want is dick and wine.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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