i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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