This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
