Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
