yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he fucked my hip out of place.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
