plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
