I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
