Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
