Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
