I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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