Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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