The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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