White coat. Heels.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
