I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
