that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
