My first STD was from a foam party
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
