He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
