if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
