I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
