she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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