he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
