cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
