so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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