Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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