In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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