its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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