some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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