i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
