Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
