Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
