Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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