Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
