well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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