Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
