I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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