Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
