I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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