yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
