im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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